The Reliability, Ohh Dear, don't ruin it

“A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him.”

― Aesop, Aesop's Fables

Recently, I got a call from one of my friend. He wanted to start some snacks outlet and he wanted me to help him with the setup. Once few years back I called him for the setup of same thing in Bangalore. He was very happy with the idea and was over eager to come and he gave me time window when he could be in Bangalore to help me. I took his words and I started the preparation. When I was almost done with my preparation, I called him and asked what will be best day for his ticket to Bangalore. To my surprise, he said that he can't come. This was it. There was no need for further conversation. I had not intention for persuasion. Persuasion could have bring him in but his refusal was enough for me discard every plan and preparation. And I did so without any second thought.

For him it was just simple NO or refusal but for me it was the question on his reliability. Now he is asking me for the help and I am doubting. My wisdom does not allow me to trust on him. He is my friend I can't say much to him. Whenever he calls me I say that I have the trust issue with him let me think about him and his proposal. He just laughs. I don't expect him to laugh on this rather he should be retrospecting the past.

The Reliability could be seems another word from the dictionary but it carries few unmatched weightage. It affects in every part of the life be it professional, social or personal. When you promise or say something then you got to do, period. Even if you failed to achieve expected result for your promise, it does not matter. Few of the action we do every day without realising like promising of call return after sometimes, giving unrealistic time frame to your manager to make him feel good or just promising something out of euphoria and backing out later etc. These things can be avoided with better selection of words or just making a little more effort to fulfil the promise.

Do less promise with others or create less expectation or say straight no but don't let the question mark arise on your reliability.

The learning...

"Learning is the act of acquiring new, or modifying and reinforcing, existing knowledge, behaviors, skills, values, or preferences and may involve synthesizing different types of information. The ability to learn is possessed by humans, animals, plants and some machines."

--
Source Wikipedia

In the age of technologies whatever we learn get obsolete rapidly. Specially in technologies field. It's growing so fast, that it's becoming quite cumbersome to keep up with the update of technologies. But there is some good news, what happens with the technology few things does not change rapidly unlike technologies.

Human behaviours do not change often. It takes decades to shift the behaviour of humans and still few behaviours we carry from our ancestors. Few things we adapt faster like new trend in purchasing and adaptation of new fashions etc but the elements like emotions, body language, religious belief and human interaction take abundant time to change. So, it's worth investing the time to understand and learn these elements. A good salespersons keep these things in his arsenal to grab the best deal. I changed my interview outcome from pass to hire in splits of seconds for few candidates for their behaviours even though they were totally misfit for the position and I got the best performers in the team.

Negotiation, it's very misleading term. Most of the people use it for squeezing the money from the deal but best negotiation outcome must be win win for both parties. It's not zero sum game. Negotiation is all about maximising the values for both parties. When you have to  trade with your opponent in future then it becomes more crucial to get the best deal for the both parties without making other party feel cheated. Would you like to be with the person who have cheated you? So, it's imperative to learn some basics of negotiation. It will help you to maximise the value for your next job switch, your next vehicle purchase and your next real state deal etc.

Law, everything we do is governed by some law. State laws are imposed and encouraged to maintain the discipline in society. But sometime we face the difficulty of not knowing it. It's misused against us by the people who holds the power and authority. So, take some times out from your busy schedule and read them. Few are there which must be used more often but we are not aware of them.

Investing most of us know earning by hard work. But apart from the active income, investing in stock, commodity and real state can be the best source of passive earning and may prove to be the game changers in your life. Take the example of equity. Every company has the story embedded in theirs balance-sheet. Learn to decrypt those stories and then investing in equity is not a risky business.

Learn to Unlearn we give the importance on learning but we forget one most basic thing which we ignore "Unlearning". Unlearning is equally important like learning. If we keep holding us with the the things whatever we learnt earlier, we can't think about new things with different perspective. We can't expect the different result from doing the same thing again and again. So, here it becomes more important we forget the old learning and start afresh.

Good bye 2015 !! Hello 2016...

It's time to spread the layout for the year 2016 and draw a blurry picture how it should go. So, it's time for making some ground rules, todo list, taking new oath and making promises to my selves. By so far 2015, everything seems going right with some glitches and with some inner realisation. I felt I am dragging in career and not living the dream. I was being timid to bet big. I hope this year I will not be repeating the same mistake. Anyway, I am going to write the rules, resolution and promises...

Speak the mind

Most of the time I am hiding to say something, be it with close friend and sometime I was being diplomatic in corporate communication. I don't know what I wanted to save or achieve. So, I realise things must be stated directly in plain grammar and simple words instead of masking the intention behind the heavy sentences.

Take Risks

Now, I realise that I should have taken the leap in many opportunities, I let many opportunities slip away in lack of data. All the datas are never available anytime neither it will be. So, to fill the gap let the intuition guide the decision and action. It's one sacred force which guides you correctly and it must be heard closely when the decision is going to change your life. The Intuition seems a bridge between the universe and oneself. Now, I realise that when the intuition was guiding me to take different paths, make big investment, start new business or chose my better half and I took the decisions favouring the available data instead of listening my inner voice.

So in terse word let the intuition guide my action and let the grit follow the intuition. 

So take risk, live the life without repents. If things have to go wrong it will go wrong no matter how much I control. So taken actions are better than repent. Is not it?

Invest in character and knowledge 

Some one said that investing in yourself is one of the best investment. Nobody is going to tax on your knowledge and the character you build will last forever. Money can go away, the job can be snatched anytime and physical beauty can disappear in many ways. It's the character and knowledge will appreciate with the time whereas the physical thing will depreciate. So, my character and personality should not be crippled what I wear or how I look.

So, read a lot of things and nourish the mind and soul.

Move to leadership position

The time has come to do the things differently. It's the time to compile the energy and resources and come with the force. Improve communication skills and let the people know that I am the Elephant in the room who was asleep and now it's waking up and who can't be ignored.  It's showtime be the one hell of example.


Be Open, Be Social and Expand the reach

I was very reluctant to be open to the world. Be it going to parties, be it going on blind date or be it even going on date with the people I knew. My worlds were confined with selected no. of peoples, I was happy with that. Now I realise that if you give the people more importance or contact them more frequent, they dubbed you useless and you take the suffer. My Bad, I am being negative here, but it's fucking true and it can't be ignored.

Any way, I don't think I am  going to change in this case. So, I am going to stick with my people only. Only the privileged one will get the entry in my world. Still I am not going to be open, I am not to be social and obviously reach will be expanded but not the sake of some personal things. It's will be pure business.

Yeah sometime suffering is the worth for the peoples, I have much regards. How should I tell I love you a lot? I am not going to let any body infiltrate my world easily.

Participate in social cause

The good intention towards humanity and nature are the rent we pay to live on this earth and its resources. So, it's also my responsibility make the surrounding better. Reduce my footprint on the earth. Be responsible for the using its resources and keep the surrounding clean and help the needy peoples. Visit NGOs and be the part of the group who work for the societies.  Donate at-least 5% of my earning towards the social cause.

Be Stubborn and Be Eccentric

I used to have few traits which always kept me in the game, even when the circumstances were not in favour, be it facing the brutal illness and facing the unemployments for few months and not getting help from my own family. I was so stubborn not to give up. I dreamt of achieving the thing that seemed impossible once. Yes, I was eccentric to believe that I can do it.

With the time I realise that I am not that much stubborn and eccentric to dream big. So, these traits again need to come in my personality. It's time to dream bigger and if I am not stubborn and eccentric, then surely I will not be able to do it.


Work Hard, Play Harder and Raise the Bar

Sometime I feel sluggish towards the work and it gets delayed. I keep postponing the thing out of born laziness. Sometime I delay the work because I have the routine for the day. Now, I realise that routine can be compromised but the works can't be. Let's work hard until the work is complete or body gives up, if the vein in eyes gets burst, let it be, if there is dizziness while work, let it be but the target should not be breached. Period.

Whenever get the time, party harder, let's not put any number on anything while partying. I work hard and deserve the treat. Let every party be memorable.


Let's make the stories worth to be told...

Happy New Year...!!

A Mother's Faith and An Angel...

It was past 2 AM on some specific day. I was unable to sleep because one issue kept me awake. Then my phone started ringing. It was an unknown number. Who the hell is this calling me this time?  I picked the call.

Because of one wrong decision my financial condition got sacked. I was getting the blame for everything. I was being blamed for all the wrong things for which I was not even responsible remotely. The people who used to leave their chair when I used to walk in any deal, now the same people had the words to talk ill about me. I did not have the job and my account balance showed only 1295.58 Rs even there was the pressure to feed my hunger and the incident threw me in deep debt. I did not have any way to repay.  My credentials had fallen in the market, so I was virtually banned to be in game until I restore the faith. People avoided me, so that I could not ask for the help. I had the perfect opportunity to see the real face of the people and I was afraid that I may cultivate the hatred towards the human kind.

"Pradeep Bhai...!!", I listened a familiar voice.

"Haan Bhai..," I replied and I did not know what to say next I just wanted to keep smiling on hearing this voice.

He questioned, " How are you doing?"
"I am going to survive some more days," I replied.

"Don't give up! Remember your mother..." He gave suggestion.

It was my cousin. With whom I grew up. I don't know where he is staying? Most of the time I doubt whether he is alive? He does not leave any footprints for the trace. Most of the time he keeps the hawk eyes what is going on with me. 

Years passed by I did not hear anything from him. I vividly remember he called me last time in Dec, 2011, when I was going through very serious illness. Pain was so intense that I was contemplating to kill myself. Then he came as the angel or "Alien"  to give me strength to fight with my physical and emotional condition . His words still echoed in my head "Remember your mother did not lose hope when everybody said to give her up. You are the product of hard work and dedication of your mother. You can't be weak." 

He was reminding me the situation when I had the polio in my neck then I was around one year old. Doctor advice that I am not going to be physically normal but my mother refused instead she fought with condition and took me for the treatment continuos 7 months without missing a single day. People mocked her. Some of the relative called her mad. She faced the scorching heat. She herself hit by heat stroke. Many times she faced the hailstorm. After all the hardship and her dedication I was looking physically well but treatment had killed my immunity. For this she fasted on Thursday for my well being until I have the moustache line on my face. I don't know whether her fasting help me in my health or not but her care did and her care did miracle. Believe me I trust in miracle. 

Now I was fighting with real problems and with real peoples who wore the facade. It was depressing and beyond this it was making me angry. The peoples reaction was so bad that I wanted to shoot them at the spot. I helped them grow and these people wanted me not to meet them. I was trying to find the shelter. I was desperately waiting for the miracle to happen but it was not happening.

"Yeah... I know," I replied and kept silent.

He said, "Pradeep, I can help you in this and everything will be fine within one week but I would not."

"Any reason for this decision?" I asked.

He replied, "Get out of this, you can do it and you can come strong..." and he did not answer my question.

It's his habit he never answered my questions. He left the questions for me to discover the answers.

"Good luck!" he said and cut call.

I tried to speak more with him back but he did not pick the call and few hours later that no. was switched off. Even I could not ask where he is and how is doing? I hope he would be doing well. Again, he disappeared like angel and did not hear again since then. Still I don't know where he is?

I did not sleep whole night. In morning, I decided to stop thinking whatever bad is happening with me and I decided to concentrate how to solve it. Miracle happened I found it once again. I got rid off the problem. I got rid off the peoples.

But, I am expecting could hear back from him. I am expecting my mother to stop fasting. She stopped for few weeks but she resumed again. May be she is still praying for my well being. May be he is watching me like angel. I know when I am in problem my mother prayer will bring me out and that Alien will come to guide me way out.

Perception of equalities?

"Would you like to come for coffee?" she enquired.

"No" the reply came out from my lips.

She was puzzled and was taken aback from my reply as if she was hearing the "No" word first time and I doubt such the beautiful girl would have got a "NO" for anything.

I was sitting at my desk since 3 hour straight and lunch time already had passed and I did not have any intention to leave.

"Did you have lunch?", again she questioned.

"No", I said and continued staring at the desktop screen.

"Why? Are you fasting or dieting?" again she pried.

I locked the desktop. "OK" lets go.

"Floor cafeteria or Ground cafeteria?",  I asked.

She expressed that she would like to have some snacks as well so I decided to go to Ground Floor's cafeteria.

After taking some snacks I took the table near to TV and she joined me at the table.

We faced each other and I did not say a word. I was enjoying my tea with chips. I was hungry and I was reluctant to leave my desk but here I was eating like starving man and tea and chips was trying to boost up my hunger instead of satisfy it. I finished my tea and chips even before she starts.

"What Pradeep! Coming with you is boring!", she responded on my action.

"First thing your words are offensive and second thing you are being judgemental early", I had to reply.

I observed that she was upset because I did not wait for her to start her snacks and I was not interested in the conversation.

"Are you dieting?" again she questioned.

Many times she asked about the status of my lunch but my reply was NO. She was being inquisitive about why I was not going for lunch and I used to have my snacks with my computer. Many times I had to share my snacks with her unwillingly.

"No. I am not dieting the reason I am not coming for the lunch that I don't eat alone." I tried to answer her curiosity.

She made her face like she was trying to find the dumbest answer possible for her question and still my answer was on the top dumbness' scale.

"Don't be surprised. I don't eat alone", I told in reply of her expression.

"Why are you sad?" I threw the sentence on her.

I made her astonished. Damn Me, I managed to offence her also.

She asked furiously,"Do I look sad?"

She wished me the morning with sparkling eyes and confidant face and few hours later her were red and face was tired as if she cried a lot.

"Why are you sad?", I put the same sentence with same tone and calmness.

She was getting angry but she calmed herself, she kept silent for few moments and said, "It's not your business."


I replied calmly yeah, it's OK. If you don't want to share I will not ask but why are you trying to divert your mind with an unknown person on this table whom you don't know at all except his name and employments' history?

She was listening carefully and fighting within herself to not let her tears appear in her eyes.

"Pradeep... You are heartless. If you can't help someone please don't make their situation worse" as she spoke and I could see her lips trembling as if she is going to burst in to tear.

"You are being judgemental early", I reiterated.

Some people are heartless because they never picked themselves after their fall. They refused to hold hands which came in the form of help when they were down.

When something pinches you, it so happens that you go into your "silent den" to get yourself healed. And it helps too.

It happened with me when I was badly hurt by someone very very dear to me. I stopped talking. My contact confined to my family. Many people offered help. I refused thinking I have to come out of this myself. Eventually I came out of it but it left a ugly scar.

Scars can't be healed. They project your heartlessness. Those people who are far from you see your emotional indifferences. But the people who are close, they know you are still the same person in a different way. More mature than before. More careful than before.

"Pradeep we are in 21st century and people are progressing, still there are disparity in society," She put her point with anger.

"I think we are not ready to handle the parity still, the society, whatever we are in,  is in perfect shape and balance, It's my thinking. It will evolve with us and will change with time but not immediately," I replied.

"What happened? Why are you blaming society?" I asked.

"My father  wants me to meet a boy for marriage", she replied.

"I don't see anything wrong in this, he is your father he would like to see you happy anyway," I spoke and, "I think our parents are smart enough to take decision".

"No! still they are orthodox", she replied and tried to reach the tissue paper to wipe her tears. I pushed the tissue paper towards her and I asked her "wipe as if you are wiping your face not tears, many eyes on us at this place we are sitting here since long time."

"Every generation think, they are smarter than their previous generation," I tried to clarify her thoughts, "Anything wrong with this boy?"

"No, I don't know about him much I know his name and where he works," she replied.

"OK! So what are the things stopping you to meet him? You will get to know him at least," I suggested.

"Pradeep, I earn more than him and I want to marry a guy who is successful", she replied.

"I think your concern is equality and equality must be understood from both end not from one and you are projecting this guy as a loser because he earns less than you?" I put my points in very serious tone.

"OK! I will meet him," she replied with chuckle, "And you are invited in my friend's birthday, may be there you can find your friend so that you don't have to remain hungry...."

The conversation with a beautiful girl...1

17 Jan, 2 P.M.

I saw my watch. "Damn it's 2 'O' clock. She did not come. Has she gone already? No, but I did not see her going? Great Pradeep. OK! She will be coming soon."

I went straight to Guard and asked "Bhaiya, S3 k liye cab kab jayegi?"

"Sir samne wali cab ja rhi hai, baith jayiye" he replied.

I went to the place where cab was parked and looked around I did not see her coming.  I waited for sometime then sat in the cab and watched the time. Ohh god it's 2:05 now and she did not come yet. 

"Sir, Sar nāvu hōgi māḍabēku?" cab  driver asked something like this.

Sorry!!??

"Sir, Ab chalta?" He translated for me.


No, wait for 5 min more some more people will also go.


He did not replied anything and turn on the radio. It played some Kannada. I don't know exactly what was it? It may have been telgu or tamil or malyalam, i don't find any difference when I hear them.


I just checked my mobile. No message, no miss call. Thank God ! And it was on silent, after the meeting, I forgot to bring it in vibrate mode.


Then looked the watch again. It's 2:08 and my heart beat increased and shadow of disappointment started covering my thought.

Then for confirmation, I looked through the rear glass. There she was coming black top, eyeglass with full black framed was completely matching her with prettiness.

I leaned side and opened the door for before she opened it by herself. She even did not thank me. WTF where is the courtesy dying in girls? She sat beside me at the distance as much was possible in the Tata Indica .

Driver looked back and started the car and accelerated it.

I felt that my heart had more excitement than my mind. And its beats were disturbing the scenario I was making to bring the conversation alive with her.

She could have heard of the sound of my heart beats if she wanted to. But she did chose to play with her cellphone.

It was Samsung XXX (XXX=does not matter) and she was tapping on the screen. I looked at my phone Micromax XXX(XXX=cost around 1700 Rs last year, even key pad does not work on full strength of finger). I unlocked it and read an unopened message. It was my team mate he  dropped the message to wait for him, if I am in parking.

Driver asked for confirmation and I said, "No one is coming now, we can go now"  and looked at her for her approval but she ignored as if it does not matter whether someone is coming or not. Car left the parking lot and devil inside me dropped a message to my teammate "cb left, u mk up @ 3 shrp @caftria".

Cab was out of the Tech Park and she was not tapping her phone.

I composed my self and asked "Where are you from?"...

Continue....

You peoples are really important...

​Relationships can be so fragile! I can’t believe how dependent I am on my relationships. They give me something that nothing else in the world can. I love my people… well who doesn’t? but when I look back today and ask myself what is it that I remember the most and how do I see myself in future… the answer would be with my people. People I love the most! It’s almost unhealthy sometimes to what extent I can go to save a relationship. Ending up in realization that sometimes no amount of effort can change things or in fact get the changed things back to as they were before. Sometimes you loose friends and you have no idea why. I can’t help but mourn over such incidents. Wondering what went wrong. Wishing I would have just kept quiet or questioning my obsessive compulsion to be “honest”… why is it that everything has to reach a conclusion or given a name to? Why do we have to put some name tag on people and then we get peace. As if in a morgue with a dead name hanging to its owners big toe. No matter how angry or sad or agitated I get at times, I can’t deny the amount of happiness I got from my friends which make the little patches of tough times worth the pain.

Call me negative or whatever but a thought suddenly struck me today, this uncertainty that life comes with, what if I never get to tell my friends how much they mean to me? And the vital role they played in my life at different points of time. I can’t die without telling my friends that they are awesome! I might have hated them, loved them a little more than others, lied to them, cried because of them, blamed them for no reason but when I look at the picture as a whole, I see an amazing painting… varied colors coming together and making a masterpiece. And yes, this is the last time I will be using painting as an analogy...

There is no misunderstanding you can’t come over, no amount of discomfort you can’t ease out. Ya… life will go on even if we loose a few people. Seems like an affordable deal for that matter. But I refuse to believe we replace vacant spaces, we just create new keeping the empty ones bare and blank!

And of course in a while I will come over this emotional lapse and find everything written above brainless and stupid. But before it happens I would like to say this to people I lost recently and people I would never want to loose, You matter!