One day, I was walking with my friend in Ganga barrage. The day was same as it was used to. I have a habit to walk in lonely place where i connect to myself. I had pressure of leaving Allahabad it was direct signal that I will not stay here. Maybe I was avoiding the feeling which was indicating that I am not welcomed here. Why? I don't understand the reason. Finally I had broken the silence and told everyone that I would start from this very place.
"No doubt! Many of you would suffer some loss. I want all rewards of my work whatever I have done till now," I said, “And as I am not concentrating on one business, so it's likely that in reward I don't want money, you keep this. All I want my contacts, helpers, dealers and the name you do work with. As there is only one person this time with me to help, so you can enjoy the luxury of being dominant till then," I told in a party.
After hearing this many came to cajole me, "you have good education and you can have good job. Why are you being trapped in this 99's dilemma?"
99's dilemma is considered as something is missed. It literally shows hunger, ambition and greed. It's like creating a target and after achieving it, a guilt come to haunt that the bastard you did not try hard, you could have more juice in that.
But I was adamant on my decision. Only thought was with me "let's do it. Now or never." I was not thinking for myself. My action was about to create more than 100 jobs directly or indirectly at the very beginning. I was crafting a big picture, a beautiful picture. I know I would have to be on my toe all the time, if I am dealing with peoples. But second day my father decided I would not stay in Allahabad. I could choose any place in India to live except U.P. Really surprising! I will not stay in U.P.?
"I am asked to leave U.P. which is still virgin in many areas. The time I move ahead to exploit opportunity, I am asked to leave. What the hell I would do in any other cities? What I did all times, remain here leaving me misfit to society?", I said to my father, " your decision is ruining me, may be you will lose me, maybe I will lost somewhere and you would not be able to search. You are not thinking. Just think! What I want?" and handed him a file.
"Please read it. Take your time. I can wait for good." I said.
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I got surprise on second day, the surprise I didn't want to have.
"You are leaving Allahabad. Get your ticket reserved as soon as possible. And if you don't get it, I don't care how you go?" Very strict words from my father.
I pleaded, I wept, I fainted but I could not deter his decision. My Papa is more stubborn than me.
My Papa's decision gave me a jerk. It upset me from my heart. My mind was not in state to think anything else. I just wanted loneliness for me. I confined myself within the home. One day I felt that my skin is getting pale in lack of sunlight and lack of physical work I was getting weaker. So, I decided to go outside to have some walk.
This was my third day in Ganga barrage. Me and my friend(Joker- Every one calls him by this name) used to be first disturbing the sand in evening. But this day someone had already walked on. I asked Joker to light the cigarette. Because I just want my mind diverted from all those things what happened few days before. The stress was driving me crazy. I smoked first and asked him to light another. He refused but when I insisted then he lit another and asked me not to throw the butt in bush.
I was just silently moving across the river bank and my friend was just getting bored from my silence. Suddenly a man emerged from the nearby bush and just pointed a hand made gun(katta) over my forehead.
"Oh! God..." was the word when I got the situation. He kept looking in my eyes, I in his. After few seconds my mind just started imagining everything I love and stomach felt thousand of butterflies as I will shit in next second. I did not know what to say. My mind was just getting angry and screaming just don't freak me out! Disappear or shoot.
"Abe trigger daba", were the words what came out in that situation.
And next second I listened a clique sound. I did not know what happened when the guy turned back, the bullet got fired. I was seeing joker and joker was chasing him madly. I scream at him," nahi Joker chhod use jane de." I realized that the bullet did not get fire on time. Sometime... most of the time hand made gun(katta) deceives on time and it is cheaply available in Allahabad like city.
Joker turned back and ran toward me and asked,"Abe kaise ho?" And help me to stand.
"Ye kaun tha sala, kahi tune to fielding nahi lagwai thi? Q ki mujhe tujh par kabhi wiswas nahi hota, tu sale kuch bhi kar sakta hai" I just threw harsh word over him.
"Nahi bhai, humka nahi mulum, pata nahi ee kauun rha. Tum rok liyo nahi yahi ooka niptayit." He said in soft voice in Allahabadi accent.
My mind was reacting bizarre. I could feel the heat in my body. I just slammed on the sand and tried to remain awake. Next moment I was unconscious. This did not happen because of fear. This happened because of anger. He patted my cheek helped me reach the Ganga's water. I got wet my hair and face completely. And this water was drenching my jeans.
I reconcile myself and just tried to imagine the situation. And I got few clue to find that man. I told joker to have few peoples for his company and asked him how to get that man and ordered him immediately get that man's in and out. I asked him plan and also told him how to recognize. I studied psychology's few book few month ago, when I finished I realized that it was the misuse of time. Now, that psychology's books were helping me to think by putting myself in that man shoes who tried to kill me.
Next day, by morning, I had all the details. The man was killing me only for 15 thousands rupee. I discovered that he is very poor because of this he had to do. He needed that money to to get rid from the debt and his wife's treatment. I asked him to show that gun. He refused when I build the pressure and put my gun over his forehead. Of course it was my turn to exercise the power. I smelled barrel, its gunpowder smell was fresh. And the worst thing is that he is addicted to gambling. His wife told me.
I can't help such type of man. All I could give him money for gambling by purchasing his gun. I just tossed 2000 Rs over him and advice,"goli ko istemal karne se pehle dhup dikha diya karo." I am sure he would not spend this money on his wife's treatment. And the pathetic part of the incident was that whole plan was designed by the man I respect the most. I have great respect for him. I follow his order like a good servant without thinking anything.
By 1 p.m. I left the home to go Khaga( A town in Fatehpur district). I spotted him purchasing vegetable in Local market. I went over and touched his feet.
"Jite raho beta... jite raho" he blessed me.
"Jite raho na bola karen... pata nahi kab apki duaye kisi aur k liye problem ban jaye..." I said smiling.
He smiled at me and asked,"Chal ghar chal, teri behne yaad kar rhi thi kal"
I followed him. I touched the eldest sister feet. She repeated the same blessing jite raho.
I wonder, one wants me dead and his daughter blessing me to live long. In his blessing there was crookedness and in other the purity.
I asked," Bachchi kaha hai.? Dikh nahi rhi?" by ogling in room She answered,"Coaching gayi hai"
I noticed nervousness on his face when i saw him but he controlled himself brilliantly. Now, it was confirmed that it was his plan.
I had snack what my sister made. I just teased her,"bahut bekar bana hua hai" and she pulled the plate and said,"nahi milega. jao!" And after seeing me struggling for the food she placed the plate on table.
She makes the delicious things I could travel 160 k.m. every day to have such delicious food. I asked the permission from her to let me go. First she refused and when I reasoned her she left me with promise that if I travel through this rout I will definitely come.
Tau accompanied me till the door. But I insisted him to come with me for few reasons. I stopped the bike and got off. I just asked him," When you are marrying your daughters?"
"Why?" He asked.
I answered, "Because I don't want to make them orphan. I want them all to have married in good families soon. I want you dead and do me favor please don't tell them what you did to me and what I want with you?" and I continued, “Use your money in good cause. So marry them soon. I advice transfer all the money on their names. So i could not have any difficulty in my execution. Don't worry I will have respect for you forever. I promise I will shoulder you."
I touched his feet and left him in middle way and headed to home. In the way I thought about my Papa. My Papa never refused anything when I went for permission and he supported me as well. But this time, He just ordered me leave state. He always gave me reason whenever he refused for anything but this time the reason was not described by him.
"No doubt! Many of you would suffer some loss. I want all rewards of my work whatever I have done till now," I said, “And as I am not concentrating on one business, so it's likely that in reward I don't want money, you keep this. All I want my contacts, helpers, dealers and the name you do work with. As there is only one person this time with me to help, so you can enjoy the luxury of being dominant till then," I told in a party.
After hearing this many came to cajole me, "you have good education and you can have good job. Why are you being trapped in this 99's dilemma?"
99's dilemma is considered as something is missed. It literally shows hunger, ambition and greed. It's like creating a target and after achieving it, a guilt come to haunt that the bastard you did not try hard, you could have more juice in that.
But I was adamant on my decision. Only thought was with me "let's do it. Now or never." I was not thinking for myself. My action was about to create more than 100 jobs directly or indirectly at the very beginning. I was crafting a big picture, a beautiful picture. I know I would have to be on my toe all the time, if I am dealing with peoples. But second day my father decided I would not stay in Allahabad. I could choose any place in India to live except U.P. Really surprising! I will not stay in U.P.?
"I am asked to leave U.P. which is still virgin in many areas. The time I move ahead to exploit opportunity, I am asked to leave. What the hell I would do in any other cities? What I did all times, remain here leaving me misfit to society?", I said to my father, " your decision is ruining me, may be you will lose me, maybe I will lost somewhere and you would not be able to search. You are not thinking. Just think! What I want?" and handed him a file.
"Please read it. Take your time. I can wait for good." I said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got surprise on second day, the surprise I didn't want to have.
"You are leaving Allahabad. Get your ticket reserved as soon as possible. And if you don't get it, I don't care how you go?" Very strict words from my father.
I pleaded, I wept, I fainted but I could not deter his decision. My Papa is more stubborn than me.
My Papa's decision gave me a jerk. It upset me from my heart. My mind was not in state to think anything else. I just wanted loneliness for me. I confined myself within the home. One day I felt that my skin is getting pale in lack of sunlight and lack of physical work I was getting weaker. So, I decided to go outside to have some walk.
This was my third day in Ganga barrage. Me and my friend(Joker- Every one calls him by this name) used to be first disturbing the sand in evening. But this day someone had already walked on. I asked Joker to light the cigarette. Because I just want my mind diverted from all those things what happened few days before. The stress was driving me crazy. I smoked first and asked him to light another. He refused but when I insisted then he lit another and asked me not to throw the butt in bush.
I was just silently moving across the river bank and my friend was just getting bored from my silence. Suddenly a man emerged from the nearby bush and just pointed a hand made gun(katta) over my forehead.
"Oh! God..." was the word when I got the situation. He kept looking in my eyes, I in his. After few seconds my mind just started imagining everything I love and stomach felt thousand of butterflies as I will shit in next second. I did not know what to say. My mind was just getting angry and screaming just don't freak me out! Disappear or shoot.
"Abe trigger daba", were the words what came out in that situation.
And next second I listened a clique sound. I did not know what happened when the guy turned back, the bullet got fired. I was seeing joker and joker was chasing him madly. I scream at him," nahi Joker chhod use jane de." I realized that the bullet did not get fire on time. Sometime... most of the time hand made gun(katta) deceives on time and it is cheaply available in Allahabad like city.
Joker turned back and ran toward me and asked,"Abe kaise ho?" And help me to stand.
"Ye kaun tha sala, kahi tune to fielding nahi lagwai thi? Q ki mujhe tujh par kabhi wiswas nahi hota, tu sale kuch bhi kar sakta hai" I just threw harsh word over him.
"Nahi bhai, humka nahi mulum, pata nahi ee kauun rha. Tum rok liyo nahi yahi ooka niptayit." He said in soft voice in Allahabadi accent.
My mind was reacting bizarre. I could feel the heat in my body. I just slammed on the sand and tried to remain awake. Next moment I was unconscious. This did not happen because of fear. This happened because of anger. He patted my cheek helped me reach the Ganga's water. I got wet my hair and face completely. And this water was drenching my jeans.
I reconcile myself and just tried to imagine the situation. And I got few clue to find that man. I told joker to have few peoples for his company and asked him how to get that man and ordered him immediately get that man's in and out. I asked him plan and also told him how to recognize. I studied psychology's few book few month ago, when I finished I realized that it was the misuse of time. Now, that psychology's books were helping me to think by putting myself in that man shoes who tried to kill me.
Next day, by morning, I had all the details. The man was killing me only for 15 thousands rupee. I discovered that he is very poor because of this he had to do. He needed that money to to get rid from the debt and his wife's treatment. I asked him to show that gun. He refused when I build the pressure and put my gun over his forehead. Of course it was my turn to exercise the power. I smelled barrel, its gunpowder smell was fresh. And the worst thing is that he is addicted to gambling. His wife told me.
I can't help such type of man. All I could give him money for gambling by purchasing his gun. I just tossed 2000 Rs over him and advice,"goli ko istemal karne se pehle dhup dikha diya karo." I am sure he would not spend this money on his wife's treatment. And the pathetic part of the incident was that whole plan was designed by the man I respect the most. I have great respect for him. I follow his order like a good servant without thinking anything.
By 1 p.m. I left the home to go Khaga( A town in Fatehpur district). I spotted him purchasing vegetable in Local market. I went over and touched his feet.
"Jite raho beta... jite raho" he blessed me.
"Jite raho na bola karen... pata nahi kab apki duaye kisi aur k liye problem ban jaye..." I said smiling.
He smiled at me and asked,"Chal ghar chal, teri behne yaad kar rhi thi kal"
I followed him. I touched the eldest sister feet. She repeated the same blessing jite raho.
I wonder, one wants me dead and his daughter blessing me to live long. In his blessing there was crookedness and in other the purity.
I asked," Bachchi kaha hai.? Dikh nahi rhi?" by ogling in room She answered,"Coaching gayi hai"
I noticed nervousness on his face when i saw him but he controlled himself brilliantly. Now, it was confirmed that it was his plan.
I had snack what my sister made. I just teased her,"bahut bekar bana hua hai" and she pulled the plate and said,"nahi milega. jao!" And after seeing me struggling for the food she placed the plate on table.
She makes the delicious things I could travel 160 k.m. every day to have such delicious food. I asked the permission from her to let me go. First she refused and when I reasoned her she left me with promise that if I travel through this rout I will definitely come.
Tau accompanied me till the door. But I insisted him to come with me for few reasons. I stopped the bike and got off. I just asked him," When you are marrying your daughters?"
"Why?" He asked.
I answered, "Because I don't want to make them orphan. I want them all to have married in good families soon. I want you dead and do me favor please don't tell them what you did to me and what I want with you?" and I continued, “Use your money in good cause. So marry them soon. I advice transfer all the money on their names. So i could not have any difficulty in my execution. Don't worry I will have respect for you forever. I promise I will shoulder you."
I touched his feet and left him in middle way and headed to home. In the way I thought about my Papa. My Papa never refused anything when I went for permission and he supported me as well. But this time, He just ordered me leave state. He always gave me reason whenever he refused for anything but this time the reason was not described by him.
